How many of us make lists and plans: to-do lists, lists of qualities we wish to develop, lists of books we’d like to read, lists of shows we’d like to watch, grocery lists, lists of chores for our family members to complete, dinner plans/menus, exercise plans, lesson plans, plans for what we will do when our husband returns from deployment or before he leaves, plans for the perfect holiday decorations/menus/activities.
What about before you were married, before you had children,
before you knew what on earth family life was really like.
Did you have lists and plans then? I know I sure did. I had a list of qualities that I was looking for in a man. Sadly (or possibly thankfully) I have not been able to find this list even though it was lovingly tucked into my journal when I wrote it at the age of 23 or 24. It was not a silly list per say I mean it wasn’t like the list I had made in Jr-High that included things like “cute, looks good in a jean jacket, likes movies like Goonies and Dirty Dancing”. This adult list I made was important things, things like “loves the Lord, makes me smile, will be a worthy husband and father, will desire and be able to provide for a wife and family, will support my desires to be a stay at home mom, wants kids,”. There were more, but since it’s been a long time (note what movies I watched in Jr-High) since I wrote it I don’t remember what they were exactly. I do however remember that when I was 26 and had met THE ONE that there were only two qualities that I deemed important; his relationship with our Father in Heaven, and that he was “happy like me”.
Did you have lists and plans then? I know I sure did. I had a list of qualities that I was looking for in a man. Sadly (or possibly thankfully) I have not been able to find this list even though it was lovingly tucked into my journal when I wrote it at the age of 23 or 24. It was not a silly list per say I mean it wasn’t like the list I had made in Jr-High that included things like “cute, looks good in a jean jacket, likes movies like Goonies and Dirty Dancing”. This adult list I made was important things, things like “loves the Lord, makes me smile, will be a worthy husband and father, will desire and be able to provide for a wife and family, will support my desires to be a stay at home mom, wants kids,”. There were more, but since it’s been a long time (note what movies I watched in Jr-High) since I wrote it I don’t remember what they were exactly. I do however remember that when I was 26 and had met THE ONE that there were only two qualities that I deemed important; his relationship with our Father in Heaven, and that he was “happy like me”.
That’s when my list no longer mattered; it was time for
making plans! What type of plans did I make?
I made plans about how our house would be organized and cleaned and
decorated, I made plans about what type of behavior, language, and actions would
be allowed inside our home, I made plans for the type of wife and mother I
would be, the chores that I would lovingly undertake for the support and
welfare of my family, plans for the foods we would eat, plans for the types and
amount of children we would have, plans for our daily lives down to how often
and to where we would go on outings.
There are a few famous expressions about plans: “Life is
what happens when we’re busy making plans”, “We plan, God laughs”, and “If you
fail to plan you plan to fail”. These seem to contradict each other. Is it bad to plan? Is it pointless to plan?
Are we going to miss opportunities because we are spending our time planning?
If we don’t plan are we doomed?
Well let’s just talk about my life the way it is now. I can make a to-do list every day and some days I am done with it by 10am, other days at 10pm I only have 3 things crossed off of the 17 that were on the list. The lists could be identical, yet why the difference in my ability to complete them: Might it be the 6 other people and 3 animals living in my house? Yep probably. But wait, I had plans for them too! And lists! I made them their own lists!! Why aren’t they sticking to my plans? Why aren’t them following their lists? WHY OH DEAR ME, WHY ARE THEY NOT FOLLOWING MY PLANS!?!?!
Well let’s just talk about my life the way it is now. I can make a to-do list every day and some days I am done with it by 10am, other days at 10pm I only have 3 things crossed off of the 17 that were on the list. The lists could be identical, yet why the difference in my ability to complete them: Might it be the 6 other people and 3 animals living in my house? Yep probably. But wait, I had plans for them too! And lists! I made them their own lists!! Why aren’t they sticking to my plans? Why aren’t them following their lists? WHY OH DEAR ME, WHY ARE THEY NOT FOLLOWING MY PLANS!?!?!
What plans are they not following? The ones I made when I was 26 and newly in love, the ones I made when I had NO IDEA what being a wife and mother was really like, the ones I made when homeschooling just sounded like a perfect beautiful always happy thing that maybe I’d want to do with my kids someday when I had them. Most importantly the plans I made that seemed to neglect the fact that the little creatures that were to be born to me would come with their own personalities; personalities which, by the way, may not always be compatible with each other’s.
One plan that was
made, either before I had any children or within the first year of life of my
oldest surrounded how I would react to fighting in our home, I had no intention of allowing it. There was
to be NO FIGHTING within the walls of our house. How was I going to accomplish that? What was
my grand plan? Well if my kids fought as I suspected they would, my plan was
simply to “toss” them outside in whatever state of dress they were in when the
fighting began. I assumed that this
would do a couple things: preserve the spirit of peace that I desired for our
home and “shock” the offenders into a quick resolution. I suspect that God did indeed get a chuckle
out of this plan. He sent me two in a row that have butted heads since the 2nd
was a few months old. When these 2 were just about old enough that they could
be “tossed out” of the house to either “cool off” or “fight it out” we were
sent to one of the coldest and snowiest
places in the US. Well since I love those two monkeys and had no desire to be
locked up for endangering them, I never followed through with that plan.
Most of the plans I made in the months before we were married and the early months and years of our lives together and then as parents have not turned out. It is almost funny to me now to think back on them. I was so hopeful, possibly naive even, but I was; a great planner!
Most of the plans I made in the months before we were married and the early months and years of our lives together and then as parents have not turned out. It is almost funny to me now to think back on them. I was so hopeful, possibly naive even, but I was; a great planner!
Now here I am a mother of 5 growing kids who’s been a wife
for a bit more than a few years and even things as simple as my grocery-list
get thrown into a whirlwind!
WHY?
Well there are a couple answers for that, one being that I rarely get to go shopping alone and when I do I am so confused by the quiet and lack of need to tell people things like, “no we can’t buy 10 boxes of lucky charms we’re not even buying one! “ and “I know it’s hot in here but you can’t take your clothes off” or “I know the fridge section is cold but your brother can’t carry you inside his shirt to keep you warm, No you’re not riding in my shirt either, now go tell your sister to stop making faces on the inside of the freezer door” that I forget how to shop. Another being the answer to most of this chaos that is my life; I’m not perfect, so my list isn’t perfect and I may have forgotten something or added something I already have 3 of at home. And that is the same reason that my plans don’t work, my children and my husband are also NOT perfect, so even if my plan had been (which I know is impossible, since I am not perfect) then they are not capable of following it perfectly.
Then what is the point in planning?
Planning creates order, we are able to make an orderly list of our desires and plan out HOW to accomplish them so even when chaos ensues, as it is bound to since we are mortal beings, we still have a small idea of where we’re headed and what we’re after. What would happen if we didn’t plan or make lists?
Just ask your 7yo to make some cookies but don’t supply her a recipe or even a list of ingredients.
Good luck eating those cookies!
My plans and my lists are the order before my chaos.
Planning creates order, we are able to make an orderly list of our desires and plan out HOW to accomplish them so even when chaos ensues, as it is bound to since we are mortal beings, we still have a small idea of where we’re headed and what we’re after. What would happen if we didn’t plan or make lists?
Just ask your 7yo to make some cookies but don’t supply her a recipe or even a list of ingredients.
Good luck eating those cookies!
My plans and my lists are the order before my chaos.
Sometimes I get discouraged and stop making
them thinking “Well if life is just going to be a whole lot of crazy then why
bother?”. That never works out very
well. I wind up with more crazy, more chaos and NO idea where I am headed.
Hope this helps you understand how we came up with our name, and helps you feel not so alone in the chaos that is your life.
Hope this helps you understand how we came up with our name, and helps you feel not so alone in the chaos that is your life.
Lots of Love
and as always STAY AWESOME
and as always STAY AWESOME
-EM
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